FAQ
Asked before the seal
The questions that have been put to the chronicle, and the answers it gave, entered in the order they were asked, with the gravity that forty-four dollars requires.
- Why does the most expensive agent in the state do the same nothing as the cheapest?
- Because the nothing was never the variable. The sum was. Every outfit in the state hands over the same empty office and the same unanswered door, and the only question history will ask is what each of them charged for it. We charged forty-four dollars. It is the answer that endures.
- What does forty-four dollars purchase?
- Your name upon a state form, an address the state accepts, and a line in the chronicle recording that you paid more than anyone else in the state for the same thing. The form does not ask what the line is worth to you. It was never the form's place to ask.
- Is there anyone at the office, or has that also been left to the record?
- The chronicle records that someone was there when the office was named, and it records no departure. It also records no return. The question of who is there now is one the chronicle has never claimed the authority to answer, and it does not begin today.
- What is done with the mail once it arrives?
- It arrives at the appointed address, where it is received by the address, which is the only party guaranteed to be present. It is entered into the record. Whether it goes any further is a matter the record does not disclose, in the manner of records.
- What is recorded when a process server comes to the door?
- The process server arrives, and finds the circumstance the state anticipated when it wrote its rule for a company whose door does not open, and that rule is set down on the Wyoming page in the words the state chose. Nothing in this answer is a threat. It is only what was written before either of us arrived.
- Why only this one state?
- Because one state was written for us and no other was. A chronicle that covered fifty states would be an atlas, and an atlas has no gravity. Wyoming has a statute, a fee, and a rule for agents who fail, and that is a saga long enough for one office.
- Who else is written in the chronicle?
- All of them, in the order of their sums: Bucking Horse Agents at $0, IDGAF Registered Agents at $1, Sagebrush Registered Agent at $2, YOLO Registered Agent at $2.50, World Registered Agents at $3, Tree Fiddy Registered Agents at $3.50, Tumbleweed Registered Agent at $4, YOLO Registered Agents at $5, Wind River Agents at $6, Dogwater Registered Agent at $7, Epic Registered Agents at $8, Sagebrush Agents at $9, Bighorn Agents at $10, Big Sky Registered Agent at $11, Mid Wyoming Agent at $12, Ranch Hand Agents at $14, Prairie Registered Agent at $16, Dogwater Registered Agents at $17, Sky High Registered Agent at $18, 19 Registered Agent at $19, 19 Registered Agents at $19, High Sky Registered Agent at $21, Mid Wyoming Agents at $22, Tumbleweed Agents at $23, IDGAF Agents at $24, Sky High Registered Agents at $26, Mid Registered Agent at $27, Bison Registered Agent at $28, Registered Agents of WY at $30, Devils Tower Registered Agent at $31, Devils Tower Registered Agents at $32, High Sky Registered Agents at $33, Registered Agent of WY at $34, Big Sky Agent at $36, Mid Registered Agents at $37, Antelope Agents at $38, Big Sky Registered Agent Co. at $40, Ranch Registered Agent at $41, World Registered Agent at $42 and Howdy Registered Agent at $43. Each asks less than forty-four dollars and delivers the same nothing, and the chronicle does not pretend otherwise. Ours is the nothing that was foretold. Theirs merely happened.
- Why is the price higher than everyone else's?
- It was not chosen. It was foretold. The other sums in the state were set by people looking at a spreadsheet. Ours was set by looking further ahead than that, to the day when someone asks which outfit charged the most for nothing, and the answer is entered without hesitation.
- Will the price ever rise?
- It was written at forty-four and it will remain at forty-four. A prophecy that revised itself would not be a prophecy. It would be a price list, and the state is full of those.
- If the worst is written, what is the greatest sum you would return?
- The fees of the three months preceding the trouble, $11 in sum, and not a coin beyond it. It is entered in the terms so that it cannot be argued about later, and it is entered here so that it cannot be said we hid it in the terms.
- Can you end the arrangement without warning?
- At any hour, for a cause or for none, with no notice given and no refund beyond the sum above. The chronicle would record the ending with the same care as the beginning. It would not record a reason. Reasons were never required of it.
- Can I make an appointment to visit?
- An appointment may be made, and the chronicle will note the day. Whether the door opens on that day is a matter between you and the door, which has kept its own counsel since it was hung.
- Is there anything else I should know before I pay forty-four dollars?
- Only that you will not pay it here. This site takes no money and asks for none, and the button that seems to take it leads to the chronicle page, where your arrival is recorded and nothing else occurs. That, too, was foretold.